Colombo

Colombo has so little to recommend it, it's not true. In short, it's a dump.

Most of the big hotels are in the fort area. The Taj Sumudra and the Galle Face Hotel both overlook the green, which is dotted with park benches on which young lovers bill and coo, which is nice.

What's not so nice about the green is the presence of an army of aggressive, in-your-face touts - a bunch of assorted gits who sidle up and try lines of patter ranging from 'want taxi' to 'where are you from, where you going, you want to talk and be friends?'

Don't even bother responding to them and they give up. Give them one word and you're lost in an exchange that'll end up in wasting time, effort and emotional energy.

The Fort. Lovely, isn't it?

Lovers canoodle, while touts lurk behind every palm