FAQing about

Any advice on small people called Jonesian?

Welsh-Armenian. Avoid them. They're just trouble...

What about the fancy fine dining food, then?

It's here! Use any recipe, but just present a half portion piled high in the centre of a large soup bowl and drizzle the sauce around it out of a squirty bottle. I find it helps if you order it in a stack with the most solid ingredients at the bottom.

Are you serious about that?

Try it out then tell me. Good luck piling up the hummus into a stack, by the way. If your hummus is stackable, then you have got something terribly, horribly wrong.